Yokels

Another terrific picture.

31. If you have been roommates with someone more than six months, you may drink all their beer, even if it's hidden, as long as you leave them one.

Modern Drunkard's 86 rules of boozing. Happy Thanksgiving!

cool shots of the sun.

Hong Kongers decide on rubbish collection

I had no idea the Senate was such a rough place

Beers. 7:00 PM at 235.

Let the PLO take heed.

All the deliciousness of a Thanksgiving dinner, now in convenient soda form.

MJ on Jacko

missing links found

"I didn't win, but that college boy ain't never killed nobody.!"

"It's really hard for us," said Pascale Hatot, a 37-year-old fan from the suburbs of Paris. "I haven't been able to sleep or eat for three days."

Click here to find out why.

Breakfast food review, with pictures.

kris: Hey get this Michael Jackson is staying in the hotel/casino across the street from my work... You should see all the media whores outside my office window

me: didn't he get taken into custody?

kris: he posted bail and came to NV to escape the media... Just goes to show you that anyone with 100 million dollars and a monkey can do what ever they want.

Finally, something worth while comes from hockey's pine-riding journalist. I'm for anything that gets CBC coverage down here on regular cable.

Warm up for the holidays! I'm not sure why (lie), but I found the reviews to be hilarious.

Even if you're straight, going to an Ani DiFranco concert makes you gay for two and half weeks (minimum).

"serious deficit in global competence"

I missed it, but I'll be celebrating today, right after this coffee.

Nanotechnology on the battlefield. Cool stuff.

Burke & Laura's baby daughter, Nima Mei.

from Divealanche.com Their current front page is brilliant. And check out the comics.

Even better stuff here.

"Hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung and drink their own piss with you?"

2 Kings 18:27

Now you can get it on a fitted baseball T-shirt! Take that, John, 3:16!

Imaginary girlfriend on Ebay. Going once, going twice, sold! ...for $41 to the pathetic nerd in the corner.

isn't the only solution? shiver me timbers.

No problem.

NOW is demanding an open investigation into Arnold's behavior toward women. Good for them.

sweet,salty,shitty.

This is great webdesign, and the photos are incredible. If you're into art and all that snobby crap, I mean.

Hey, how's work? Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Saturday's game against the Flyers was yet another illustration of the terrible reffing in the NHL right now. There is no standard and no way for a player to know what will be called today compared to what was called yesterday. One game to the next, everything changes. And it even changes period to period, minute to minute. I know it's tradition, but it is not right that whistles tighten in the last five minutes of a game (or in the playoffs). If it's a penalty, call it.

This problem has been around for a while and it's only made worse by the idiots in the league offices. They make stupid annoucements and send out press releases, when what they need to be doing is providing clear direction for their refs and forget about seeking goal-enhancing publicity. My message to them in today's email is, "just get it fixed." Human error and inconsistency I can understand, but it's being made worse by the league and their job is to make it better.

And start with the diving calls. It is almost impossible for a play to be a penalty and a dive at the same time. If Kovalev was diving on Saturday, I'm Claire Huxtable. That call took away 1:15 of 5-3 for the Rangers and let Primeau off the hook for a no-good, cheap-ass, fuckball play. I'd like to see the ref keep his feet after a slash to the calf like that.

The new rule: No ref is allowed to call a penalty and an off-setting dive. Pick one, ref. And be accountable.

How difficult is it to come up with a sensible solution? I'm an idiot and I already have one more than the league office.

Oh, and here's a link about the Rangers and the Refs.

Neil, you've been Dowd'ed! Please go shut that dillhole up.

"I was doing my client's hair," Newsome said. "I saw the guy on the bicycle getting [beaten up]. . . I said I've got to do something about this."

Newsome said he ran out of the salon and used a "take down" move to subdue Spotts.

"I just went over there and laid him down like pancake," Newsome said.

Beer drinkers are more extroverted than wine drinkers. Another scientific breakthrough from our Canadian friends.

In honor of Alan's last day, here are a few stupid search results.

Most are disturbing. But congrats anyway, dude.

Genital retraction syndrome.

Last night I went to a cool bar near the path station called The Ginger Man (which is also a great book about a shiftless drunk guy). They have La Chouffe on tap. On Tap! Check out the beer list. I'm still a little chouffed up this morning, though.

One new wife, coming up.

There is something wrong with the motion picture industry.

Edits, Comments, & Queries I Would Make, If I Were in Charge of the Weekly Fan Essay at Vikings.com, Since Whoever Assigned These Things is on Autopilot

Why We Like Football
Friday, October 3, 2003

Week 1: What's right with this picture? I gave up tickets to the Vikings opener in Green Bay to play in a charity golf outing for the University of Minnesota with three women friends. [You're fired. You're obviously not a true fan. Charity golf is like guzzling champagne for autism.] We picked the 7:30 a.m. tee-time so we could catch most of the game, even if we missed the kickoff. [You multitasked the shit out of that day, didn't you?] We raced back to my friend Laurie's house, where her friend Frank [C'mon. Fill us in on the friend part? Are they doing it?] was making us breakfast (eggs benedict with hollandaise sauce from scratch, no less).

Plus this weeks football picks at McSweeneys.

When you get home, check out Something Awful today. And just so you don't forget the reason to go to Something Awful, check out this old Photoshop Phriday.

"And at some point in time in your career, you have to take a stance and be a little selfish."

There should be a word for moronitude of this sort. Old man, it is time you retire. Or remember how to play defensive end.

No, you know what, just fucking retire you pitiful, loser, fuckbag, dillwad, aging bitch. Take your whining ass elsewhere.

In honor of our new (gun-toting) member I offer this friendly reminder. Stock up while the gettin's good.

One is embarassing and the other still thinks .500 will make the playoffs. Damn. Shit. Fuck. My teams suck.

When is Spring Training?

God hates a coward. Flash animation from Russia appropriate for Halloween.