Yokels

I hadn't heard of him before, but this guy has the best name in sports. Easily.

President Bush cleans his glasses on someone else's shirt. What a dick.

Ex-Rangers that are still in the playoffs exchange emails. Ha-ha.

Get your picks in now for this Saturday's Kentucky Derby.

Sweet merciful crap, the Japanese are harsh as hell.

Alensandchildren.org. Hey guess what? Aliens are abducting children to create a new alien/human hybrid species. Here are some of the pictures drawn by the kids who've been "visited". Batshit crazy, but the hat, or ""thought screen helmet", that the girl wears to school is hilarious.

My personal favorite is the section called Why Aliens Abduct Humans. Makes sense to me.

18 Days.

The Baby Ka-Boom is coming to Asia.

http://www.johnkerryisadouchebagbutimvotingforhimanyway.com/

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

CNN (from 2 years ago) tells me this is the world's funniest joke. Whatever man, it's no 12-inch pianist. Now that's a punchline.

Loop. Addictive shockwave game for insomniacs.

True. The short film (~2 mins) that was behind the Budweiser "Wassup" campaign. It's actually a lot more clever than the commercials are.

Also, here's the "I'm Rick James, bitch" dealie from Chapelle's Show.

Despite what the NY Times says, Everyone's favorite candidate is not actually a murdering KKK member.

Continuing the trend: More fucked up shit, this time from the UK.

Speaking of fucked up.

"He was a big boy and obviously aroused," Alsop told the Sun newspaper on Thursday."

Better left unsaid. I think we can all agree.

Disney is planning to fuck up a classic novel.

Round two. And I think we have a consensus about who we want to win at least one series.

Oddly enough, our weblog is listed 10th on a google search for "Yokels". It's on the first page. I'm sure thousands and thousands of people search the web for "Yokels" every day. We're like totally famous and stuff. I'm betting the money will come rolling in any day soon. I'm off to buy a bigger wallet.

The dirty hippie baboons we were talking about last week. All playing frisbee and listening to God Street Wine and shit.

Here's the CWShredder for your computer. It cleans up a bunch of stuff that Norton and Spybot S&D miss. Surfing for porn is safe again. You need this.

I haven't really heard of him, but David Brooks penned one of the best Op/Eds I've seen on the environment in some time. Why do I like it? I like it because it addresses a point I've been making for some time. Conservatives are frequently maligned as sell-outs when it comes to the environment. The mere mention of an environmental buzzword is enough it seems to paint their policies as flawed. It does this and still includes the more appropriate criticisms. Afterall this problem is not helped by Republicans who have done a terrible job of explaining their positions.

Included within that lousy sales job is what Brooks calls their biggest blunder. He calls the administration biggest failure their inability to restart the global warming debate. He accurately points out that the failure isn't their reaction to Kyoto, which was never going to work here anyway, but their apathy in it's aftermath. This should be the point hammered home by admin opponents. Not that we pulled out of Kyoto, but that we never got back in any discussions of any sort. It's valid, fair, important and needs to be brought up with vigor.

Anyway, we've talked about these policies in the past and you folks even agreed with some of the cap-and-trade systems more likely to be proposed by this Administration (specifically, the fishing grounds in Australia & New Zealand). Command-and-Control is expensive and doesn't incentivize the technological advances that will ultimately solve these problems. Cap & Trade does, and has the benfit of being more efficient to the benefit of all of us. But it's also easily labeled as "weakening protections" or "allowing companies to write our laws".

So it's easy for Kerry to score points by saying things like, "fighting to weaken protections on several fronts", "devastating deterioration not only in our economy but in our public health and safety", "contribute to up to 100,000 premature deaths from respiratory troubles and induce millions of asthma attacks", and never address why he favors command and control over an incentive based approach (if he even does?).

This is one issue that conservatives should be winning on. Their policy ideas are correct, but their message has been terrible, terrible, terrible. And they are led further into that abyss by an apparent unwillingness to talk coherently on the subject... Because they automatically lose on the environment whenever it's discussed.

Thornton - Two fractured ribs and a sprained wrist. No excuses, but...

Go Leafs, Go!

I admit that I like Pitchfork a lot. It's a damn good music review site. They like Modest Mouse, The Sea and Cake, The Shins, and a lot of my other favorite bands. Hell, I wouldn't have even bought Neutral Milk Hotel if it wasn't for Pitchfork. Still, maybe they are a bit pretentious at times. If you don't know it already, check out Pitchfork first, and then check out somethingawful's fake page. Even those that don't like indie music (Blayney) will get a kick out of the fake band names in the column on the lower left.

Good stuff.

From disturbingauctions.com

More cool photos. These from my old home town of Juneau, AK.

Y'all nervous ?

Here's how Lance Armstrong will win the next Tour de France. At least, it offers part of the reason.

Here's some awesome photos from New England.

In an effort to remove that dong from the top of the page, I offer you the Pot-in-Pot.

"It would be nice if the National Hockey League could wave a magic wand and compel the league's most vociferous yet uninterested critics to follow just the first round of this edition of the Stanley Cup playoffs."

The NHL Playoffs.

"It almost doesn't matter - because Montreal coach Claude Julien and Souray - the man who bumped into Kovalev - basically pointed at the newest Canadien and said whether it's a penalty or not, he should have kept playing and he didn't."

Kinda sucks, because I liked Kovalev when he wasn't playing against the Bruins. I'd also like to point out that the paragraph above is a grammatical trainwreck. But no matter.

"I propose free beer for just about everyone. Vote for me."

Science: Proving shit you'd never understand anyway.

Trying to buy a crumb of New York.

Go 'Ning.

"Donald Brashear, left wing for the Philadelphia Flyers of the National Hockey League stared down at the shimmering desert sand and cracked his knuckles. Behind him a small and stalwart group of Jewish warriors screamed themselves hoarse in encouragement."

Read on.

Fuck yeah! I've been waiting for this shit to come back in vogue for a while.

Scientists prove something stupid... again. Go science.

The Playoffs are upon us and once again I am on the outside, looking in. Meanwhile, you guys should be stoked. Sure, Thorton's iffy and the Leafs face a brutal battle from the get-go, but I like both teams chances.

My picks inside.

Ultimate Revenge. This movie is about what happens when a guy's girlfriend leaves hiim for his boss. I laughed my ass off.

Warning: Some swearing, and the movie's about 9 minutes long. Well worth it, though.

Boston will end up 4th, and they'll play the Sens in the first round.