Monday, August 1
I've always thought - when I've thought about such things - that being in an office with shitloads of Asian chicks would be ideal. In some ways, it is. Our office is remarkably casual, and the outfits I see each day surprise and delight me. I try to keep the ogling to a minimum, stealing glances here and there when I get a chance, but I've quietly managed to build up a decent creepy blueprint of the bodies of each of the girls on my floor. After extensive furtive research, I can tell you with 75% surety who wears a thong and who doesn't. (You'll be disappointed to learn that most favor old-school grandma-style undergarments.) I dig the legs and shoes, too. Strappy open toed high-heel sandals? Apparently, that's work attire. West:0, East:1. I might be developing a foot fetish. My point is that the eye-candy is a nice bonus.
That being said, one thing I should have tacked on to my Asian Office Fantasy should have been the stipulation that the Asian chicks in question can speak English well, and speak it at all times. There's nothing more dispiriting than asking a cute girl how her weekend was, and then not having any follow-up to her response because it takes a solid ten seconds to translate whatever argle-bargle has just come out of her mouth. Most of the small talk I've taken part in at the office involves me asking a breezy question and receiving an unintelligible answer, followed by a long silence. Eventually I say something like "Huh. How 'bout that" and then I shuffle my feet while I wait for the elevator doors to open.
That being said, one thing I should have tacked on to my Asian Office Fantasy should have been the stipulation that the Asian chicks in question can speak English well, and speak it at all times. There's nothing more dispiriting than asking a cute girl how her weekend was, and then not having any follow-up to her response because it takes a solid ten seconds to translate whatever argle-bargle has just come out of her mouth. Most of the small talk I've taken part in at the office involves me asking a breezy question and receiving an unintelligible answer, followed by a long silence. Eventually I say something like "Huh. How 'bout that" and then I shuffle my feet while I wait for the elevator doors to open.
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