Monday, January 1
Why do you watch sports?
I watch sports for that incredible play where Joe Namath readies himself in the pocket, fakes left, fakes right, thinks about kissing Suzy Kolber but doesn't, throws a Hail Mary to Jaromir Jagr who picks up the puck at Notre Dame's blueline and sends a sweet saucer pass to Muggsy Bougues, who dipsy-doodles around Shaq and Tom Brady, pauses (... ) and does a late 360 boneless off the lip of the half-pipe, and while he's being checked by Mia Hamm, whips his racket around in a reckless and desperate effort to put the puckball at the net, where Carl Yastremski is just hanging there in slow-motion, waiting in mid-air to slam home the alley-oop. When the game is over, Suzy Kolber makes out with Ronaldinho.
Joe Namath, while disappointed, goes home to his wife and family and pledges $1,000.000 to the Mike Tyson Foundation to save the last pandas remaining in their dwindling habitat.
That sort of action can be expected at the AwesomeBowl, and if we all wish really hard, it might be realized. The Olympics are fun and all, but the AwesomeBowl is where it really happens.
AwesomeBowl: Once every fifty (50) years. Let's do this thing.
(Epilogue: The panda program is a success, and in the year 2350, the last humans question why they helped the pandas in the first place, and why they have to pay a bamboo tax.)
I watch sports for that incredible play where Joe Namath readies himself in the pocket, fakes left, fakes right, thinks about kissing Suzy Kolber but doesn't, throws a Hail Mary to Jaromir Jagr who picks up the puck at Notre Dame's blueline and sends a sweet saucer pass to Muggsy Bougues, who dipsy-doodles around Shaq and Tom Brady, pauses (... ) and does a late 360 boneless off the lip of the half-pipe, and while he's being checked by Mia Hamm, whips his racket around in a reckless and desperate effort to put the puckball at the net, where Carl Yastremski is just hanging there in slow-motion, waiting in mid-air to slam home the alley-oop. When the game is over, Suzy Kolber makes out with Ronaldinho.
Joe Namath, while disappointed, goes home to his wife and family and pledges $1,000.000 to the Mike Tyson Foundation to save the last pandas remaining in their dwindling habitat.
That sort of action can be expected at the AwesomeBowl, and if we all wish really hard, it might be realized. The Olympics are fun and all, but the AwesomeBowl is where it really happens.
AwesomeBowl: Once every fifty (50) years. Let's do this thing.
(Epilogue: The panda program is a success, and in the year 2350, the last humans question why they helped the pandas in the first place, and why they have to pay a bamboo tax.)
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