Thursday, January 29

It took me a while, but I finally won. I beat India. The end guy was really tough.

I'm heading to Thailand on Sunday.

Tuesday, January 27

I saw a video of this incredible happening on Kimmel last night. If you can find a video link somewhere, I highly recommend it.

Friday, January 23

Well, everybody now thinks the Jagr to New York is inevitable. Sweet. That would be downright terrific. Please Glen, pull the trigger!

I rather fit an ice skate through the hole in my dick than cheer for that commi asshat.

Humbly, I'd like to suggest ten new tactics for the Rangers to take. One, never allow a player to play with the Rangers for more than three years in a row. Two, do not sign, trade for, or otherwise hire defensemen. Three, waive all goalies. Four, play remaining games using only forwards. Attempt to out-score opponents by shooting wildly and occasionally propping Lundmark in front of the net as a sacrifice to all prospects past. Five, decline all draft picks. Six, raise ticket prices. Seven, re-hire Ron Lowe, Bryan Trottier and retain Glen Sather. Eight, blame injuries for failure. Nine, ban hustle. Show no respect for the trait. Ignore it completely. Praise and reward it's opposite with playing time and bonuses. And ten, set up those tee times.

Thursday, January 22

Race relations in high school have gone all weird.

I love this. I think it's hysterical. As I saw written elsewhere, can you imagine if the school gave a "North American Achievment Award" and the administrator said, 'it's always been given to white students'.

I'm sorry that some folks were hurt, but what the hell is an African American achievement award if all African Americans aren't part of it... even if they're white ones?

If you didn't know, there have been quite a few mountain lion attacks on hikers out west lately. Here's an Op-Ed from an Alaskan, who seems to be mildly confused about why people are letting cats eat them.

Monday, January 19

Ha! I always knew Gretzky's numbers was partly in honor of Gordie Howe. Nobody ever believed me for some reason.

Jeff Hackett is being treated for vertigo. Bobby Clarke is blaming Ken hitchcock. Okay, he's not blaming Hitchcock yet, but you can bet he will.

Friday, January 16

I saw a item about the other good Dr. Dean (the wife) a few days back. It was about the same as this, implying that because she doesn't venture on the campaign trail or act in the standard fashion of a political spouse, they must be having marriage trouble. 1) This is cheap journalism. 2) It's a wild stretch of ifs and maybes to arrive at an uncertian "possibly". 3) Who the fuck cares?

Nice work Maureen, mocking her, mocking the current first lady, mocking just about everyone and doing it with little style and zero substance. You are generally proving yourself useless... But still taking up the most valuable piece of journalistic real estate this side of the prime meridian.

Tuesday, January 13

I blame Gretz.

Hopefully just the first domino to fall


What's up, dickholes? I just ate a 2 hour lunch for a little less than 2 dollars. Of course it probably had intestinal worms in it (QUARNINE!), but hey, whatever. Headed to the beaches of Goa with Reena tonight on a sleeper train. I've got a bunch of stories to tell you, but since they're rocking a 14.4k modem here and the power goes out intermittently, it doesn't seem worthwhile to start now. Hope all is well.

Monday, January 12

Close my beer shop and I'll just grow doob. Canadian's are smart. No, serious.

It's old, but some of these are damn funny.

"an unnecessary preventive war of choice" said the U.S. Army War College's Jeffrey Record.

NFL Draft Profile: Player 1 - Robert Gallery
Position - Offensive Tackle
Height - 6'7"
Weight - 310 lbs.
College - Iowa

Gibbs, furious, spun around and walked quickly toward the unhappy fans in their bleacher seats.

"Okay," he screamed, "who's the loudmouth?"

Several fans pointed to one guy. Gibbs gave the guy an icy stare and said, "Listen, we're going to need you this afternoon. Our quarterback needs you. Are you going to be with us?"

"Yes, coach, yes, you bet," the man stammered.

"All right, I'm counting on you," Gibbs said as he walked back toward the field.

Friday, January 9

This day sucks. I'm hurting.

Thursday, January 8

War of Ideas, pt.1

The "dramatic shift between prior intelligence assessments and the October 2002 National Intelligence Estimate (NIE), together with the creation of an independent intelligence entity at the Pentagon and other steps, suggest that the intelligence community began to be unduly influenced by policymakers' views sometime in 2002."

Okay fuckers, I'll see you later.

Steve, you're in charge of taking my hockey team from 5th to first. It's only five points, so it's doable. Feel free to do whatever you want with that loser from Dallas. I haven't fixed today's lineup yet, and I don't intend to. Thanks, and good luck.

I'll see you all on February 25th. Stay out of my stash.

This about sums it up. Be sure to check the picture and the comment.

Wednesday, January 7

Okay, the Japanese have officially totally fucking lost it. At first I thought this was a song for kids featuring a dancing piece of shit. After realizing that there's a dancing toilet in the background, it's pretty much confirmed. Man.

"The reclusive cleric, who U.S.-led authorities have tried to woo but apparently with little success, said there had to be "another solution that is honest to the Iraqi people's demands."


You can read more of my pathetic ramblings on SpoFi, but Joe Gibbs returning to the Redskins is about the best news I would have never dreamed of wishing for.

Tuesday, January 6

TSN rankings: Leafs : 8 Rangers : 9

What I really wanted for Christmas.

Monday, January 5

interpol interview

USA! USA! USA! You Northern Mexicans can keep your puny Olympic golds, we got the one that we wanted all along.

Alphabetical Year in Review

Sunday, January 4

I'll be damned! Why didn't I think of that?

Saturday, January 3

There's no way this link lasts more than a day.

No fucking way!

Canada vs USA for the gold at noon on Monday. Good stuff. Too bad we'll miss it.

I watched the USA go against Finalnd today. They look solid, especially on defense. That Stuart kid is awesome. And Al Montoya, their goalie, is really good too. Patrick O'Sullivan (who may be a B's prospect... ?) looked solid, but had a terrible penalty that essentially cost Al the shutout. Zach Parise is a future star. Fucking Devils. He leads the tournie in scoring and had an assist on the first goal (shorthanded).

Nigel Dawes, a Ranger draft pick, is having a great couple of weeks so far. He scored in Canada's 7-1 victory over the Czechs. Monday should be hard fought, judging by what I saw today and what the announcers tell me about the Canucks. It's a shame I'll be at work. Neil, you're welcome to stop by if you want to watch. We get it with the hockey package.

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