Yokels

Dad 'n Me, a game where you beat up children.

The Rangers moved up in the draft (from 16 to 12) and took Marc Staal. He's a big d-guy, brother of Eric from Carolina. Herates about between a #2 and #4 defensemen in the NHL. I loked the move up and the pick.

I don't know much about the rest of the Rangers draft. Pretty much everyone they took had a brother or dad or uncle who played NHL hockey. The message board folks rate it as a C or a B- draft. Steady, not flashy picks.

Ken Daneyko is suprisingly good with a mike in his hand. He'll be a full-time anchor soon. He just said "imperative" in a sentence, and did it the right way. I always thought he was a meathead, but I guess I was wrong.

I'm not sure how the draft went for the Bruins, but I trust their scouting department. They've been great for the past few years. In the 5th round, Boston drafted a guy named Wacey Rabbit. Even if he never steps on the ice at the NHL level, he is now my favorite player. Wacey Rabbit.

Yes. The Boston Red Sox like to leak information to ESPN to 'gain favor'

My supervisor is one of the other English speakers in my department. Even though she's been speaking it for 45+ years, she's conspicuously retarded in her command of the English language. The other day she spent 20 minutes explaining how to perform a quarry in our tracking system. She started off by explaining what a quarry was. "A quarry," she starts off, "is what you do when you need to look up background information on the shipper..." Never once did she mention rocks or digging. Hey lady, I'm pretty sure I know what a fucking quarry is, and I think the word you're looking for is "query." In fact, the button you click to start strip mining for information or whatever you're confused about is clearly marked Q-U-E-R-Y. It starts off the same way as the word "question" for a reason. Good God. It's demoralizing to hear this retard describe me as "her temp" when she's on the phone.

it's nice to see you to fine penman writing up a storm. i've asked before, but i'll say it again. More Please.

The Rangers have until 5pm to buy out Bobby and Darius and common thought and grade-school wisdom says they most certainly will, but I'm starting to get the impression that it may not be a done deal afterall. I got to thinking and there are a couple of reasons why they might not rid themseleves of those contracts.

First, over and over the Rangers management has talked about building from within and starting fresh. They've talked about devloping kids and watching them grow into their NHL game. With that in mind, right now they don't need money or cap space. Those kids don't cost shit. And the Rangers aren't going on a shopping spree or even taking a trip to the corner store. They aren't after Naslund or Modano or Forsberg. They probably aren't even after Murray or Amonte or Bondra. Or Stumpel, or Battaglia, or Clymer. They're gonna fill in with the kids from Hartford. So, they don't need the money now and the argument could be made that they won't need it next year. Why not hold on to Holik and Kasper? The fact is if you plan on playing the kids, you might need those contracts just to get to the minimum.

Second, these guys have some game. People say the new rules will help Kasper more than others. He's not a clutchy guy, hit just hits. Hitting is still legal. Additionally, people have always said he can pass reasonably well, though I'm not sure I remember that showing though all that often.

Holik could be retained just to continue to be Holik. He provides grit and leadership... Or something. Maybe he can bake really good and Sather likes cookies. Or he has pictures of James Dolan bent over a Thai midget with an oversized coke straw plunked in his pooper. Plus, Holik and Jagr like each other. Biblically. So he might be kept around.

Third, I don't know how the Rangers marketing department would feel about entering the season with Jagr, Dominic Moore, Fedor Tutin, Bryce Lampman, Kevin Weekes, & Garth Murray on the billboard out front. At least people know Holik and Kasperitis. And they could star in ads reminding us that, "Hockey's Different Here."

More importantly, they would just be throwing money away with little benefit if they bought them out. I know, that sounds a lot like the Rangers we all know and love, but things are changing, I'm telling ya. And yeah, they'd clear up space if they just paid now, but are they going to need or use that space? Wouldn't it be better to get something for that money even if all you're getting is crappy, overpriced douche-bags that lend just an ounce of respectablity in the eyes of fair-weather fans?

Last, the Rangers have been awfully quiet about this. Why would you not even contact Holik and Kasper? Maybe, just maybe, you don't want word getting out regarding a decision that will be met with universal criticism. And the best time to make bad decisions is on Fridays, so you can bury it in Saturday's paper behind A-Rod's birthday party, Larry Brown's favorite pasta dish, and four more drownings out in Rockaway.

Just some thoughts. I guess we'll see soon enough.

Well, I've been working at the Taiwanese shipping company for almost two weeks now, and I have to admit it's nice to have a routine again. I wake up every day at 6:45, and I don't just mean that my alarm goes off at 6:45. I actually wake up, ready to go. It's weird. The work itself leaves something to be desired, though.

When they told me about the job, my staffer said that it was "mostly administrative, but they need someone who can think on their feet." I can count the number of times I've had to "think on my feet" on one hand, as long as you consider starting and ending with "zero" to be some form of counting. Whenever I need to think about what to do next, I just try to remember exactly what I was doing 30 seconds ago, and then I do that. I repeat this process every 30 seconds for nine hours, with a one hour break for lunch at exactly 12:30.

Hockey's unrestricted free agents. Who do you want?

Is it me or is this new hockey league boring? I thought the shit was gonna hit the fan. Instead, nothing is happening. I know my Rangers are dedicated to rebuilding and won't be making many splashes, but what about everyone else? Are the B's or Leafs doing anything? I want action!

By the way, this sucks. Damn you hockey Gods!

For Joy Rodd: Forgotten Pictures of Popular People. That's Kylie Minogue.

What? This guy just wants to thank a friend for always standing up for him. This is a great graduation prank, and the kid's reaction is totally priceless. Somehow the music in the background makes it almost perfect.

Telltale signs. A Poe story told with street signs.

For the past 10 months, National Hockey League Players' Association boss Bob Goodenow and six union executives have been working without pay, as part of a pledge they made before the lockout began.

But soon, Mr. Goodenow's biweekly paycheques for approximately $115,385 (U.S.) before deductions will start arriving, resuming his status as the highest-paid union boss in Canada. He has three years remaining on a deal he signed in 2002, reported to be worth $2.5-million a year.

Read the rest of this disgusting article at the Globe and Mail.

Harry Potter? Still? Are you fucking kidding me?

Fishy lollies for hot octopus! Sounds like some horrifying new manga, but it's actually about a giant octopus named Sassy who licks popsicles. I tried phrasing this about eight different ways before I realized that you just have to read the article. I swear it's not about Japanese comic porn.

Finally! Or, finally? EJ's been wrong before.

Bubbels is like Snood, except you can win. There are shitloads of other games on some nerd's website here, too.

So I'm at an interview today, at an office staffed solely by women. I get the initial screening done well enough (I'm always more at ease when being interviewed by ladies - none of that macho-bullshit posturing firm handshake crap). After taking the obligatory Word, Excel, and Powerpoint tests, I realize I should probably take a leak and clean myself up a bit before meeting with one of the VPs. It's hot as balls out there today, and with my suit on, I feel like I've been wearing a fucking hairshirt all day.

I ask the receptionist if I can use the men's room. She hands me the keys (It's one of those kind of offices), and points me in the direction of the hallway. I walk in the wrong direction for a while before finally finding the correct door. I insert the keys and turn them left. I hear a little *snap*. Then I try turning the keys to the right. Nothing. Then I try jiggling the doorknob while turning the keys both ways. Still nothing. I keep this up for about five minutes. Eventually, I give up and walk back in to the office, but I'm too embarassed to admit that I've been trying to get the damn door to open for more than five minutes. I'm sure the office staff thought I was wrestling with an especially truculent dump.

So anyway, I go throught the rest of the interview process looking like a mess, and still having to take a piss. Today was not a good day for interviews.

A video clip of British soldiers on LSD. My favorite part is the guy climbing the tree. I don't think the experiment went very well.

If someone ever tells you "I'm a straight-shooter..." and you immediately respond with "No, you're just kind of a dick" you will be correct 99% of the time.

The Top 13 Most Overrated Songs. They make some pretty good points.

Via Bifurcated Rivets.

How long until people start to blame the US for planning the terrorist attack in London?

Google is always ready to help clear up a mistake.

Counter-Struck. (Movie link)

You need to have played (or seen) the game, but this is one of the funniest things I've seen on the Interweb in a while. Ninja, be sure El Roy sees this. Alternate .wmv file here.